I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
