I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
