drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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