why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
