How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
