i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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