Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
