So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
