When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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