So drunk its hurt
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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