i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
