well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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