Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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