FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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