It's Friday. Sex?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
