I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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