i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
