i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
