he wants to bone in the snuggie
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
