How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
