Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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