He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
