i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
