Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
