Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize