Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
