I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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