You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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