His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
