2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
