Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
