Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
