You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
