turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
