yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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