it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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