Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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