she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
high people should be assigned attendants
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
