Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize