Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
operation have a gay friend backfired
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
