I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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