she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
