Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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