He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
