I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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