would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
