if you like me you must not know who I am
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
