haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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