That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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