I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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