Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
