3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
