Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
