Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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