Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
