he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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