I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
