I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
