Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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