You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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