i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize